I will state in advance that what you are about to read is not a bunch of you know what.
On second thought… maybe it is.
Have you heard about the jobs that opened up recently in San Francisco?
The streets of the city are so covered with feces FROM HUMANS, that city leaders floated a solution: The Poop Patrol.
I’m not making this up.
Homeless encampments throughout San Francisco have become so filthy that residents call the city’s hotline 65 times a day to report piles of poo on the streets and sidewalks.
The calls have brought about movement by the city leaders, who fear the problem could turn the city by the bay into a dump.
So, the city has a cleanup plan. They are allocating $100 million to address this issue. Incredibly, $13 million of this is for a group of cleaning people to come regularly to straighten up the encampments.
That’s $13 million of taxpayer dollars.
While many San Francisco residents can’t afford cleaning people to come to their homes or apartments, the homeless population will get their areas cleaned on the residents’ dime.
The city’s plan also includes $1 million to pay the members of the Poop Patrol. This 5-person team will do their business patrolling the bowels of the city to clean up the excrement.
This month, a team of five employees from the Department of Public Works took to the streets in a vehicle equipped with a steam cleaner. They will load up their truck with the waste.
Before you think, what a bum job. I mean, talk about starting at the bottom, consider this: as they log their 40 hours a week, each member of the crew will earn $184,000 a year.
It seems that all members of the team share various doodies… er, duties. Evidently, there will be no team leaders. No number one. Just a bunch of number twos.
What a mess. The homeless decide to poop wherever. The city sends well-paid crews to come clean it up at the taxpayers’ expense. The whole thing doesn’t smell right.
Right or wrong, the city will do what they will do. And the poop patrol will be on the streets for months to come.
If I lived there, I think I would probably just scat.
Okay, okay, enough of the puns.
After thinking about it, maybe the best use of a poop patrol would be in Congress.